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Forums updated, passwords reset
Jun 01, 2009 - 12:44 AM - by Zorblak
Zorblak's Avatar We have upgraded our forum software to the latest version. Due to security concerns, we have also reset the passwords of all users. Please use the "lost password" feature to get a new password going, and please do not use the same password you had before.

If you have any problems getting your new password, please PM me, IM me, or talk to me in-game, or reply to the email you received from me about the forum upgrade.

Also, if you see any errors, please let me know. I think I've got everything working on the new version, but I might've missed something on some template somewhere.
0 Replies | 240 Views
Unfinished Business
May 26, 2009 - 11:29 PM - by Redleaf
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Derugoak Bloodwalker Buzz Sawed!
Apr 22, 2009 - 10:47 PM - by Redleaf
PoTem
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15 Replies | 730 Views
More Bacon Than The Pan Can Handle
Apr 05, 2009 - 2:14 AM - by Zetro
Zetro's Avatar

 

More Bacon Than The Pan Can Handle

 

 

 

 

It was a dark and stinky night.

We marched over narrow walkways toward the Citadel of Pain. The air reeked like smithing acid and rotten pickled eggs. Made my throat sore just breathing it. The whole dimension was hardcore feng shui with wrought iron bars, spikes, chains, and torture gadgets galore.

Did I mention that we were all red and slickery from the constant fine mist of BLOOD? Wonderful. Like most of us weren't already popping marrcillin after our recent Lxanvom trip. Mind you, a few from temscouts were on it for other reasons. Pork swords get gunky without a sheath. And that's One to Grow On.

 

Inside, Torment's garrison tried to play goalie between us and their spankmistress. Most of those barking poodle mutants didn't have much fight in them.

You want strange, though? Check out Maareq the Prophet (pics below). He's like a powdered human donut with facehugger jelly filling.

Slowly, steadily, we hacked and shuffled forward through the jagged Citadel. It was a wire monkey mama of a place. I kept wishing I had a pair of gnomemade Solu-socks® and a basket of gravy fries. Comfort is a foreign concept in Saryrn's plane -- like toilet paper in Grobb.

 

Our rangers tracked the screams.

They tracked the cruel laughter.

They tracked the steamy wolf plops.

 


 

   In the fifth and highest floor of the tower, we spotted her.

A demi-god of Torment. The Mistress of Pain. She turned for a moment, giving us a full body profile. Everyone noticed IT at once. We were all thinking the same thing. It was Moonglum who spoke out loud.

"Heh. That is one bouyant booty."

 

I guess a little too loud. Spiked-toe boots clackered toward us. AGGRO! Sweet mother of meatpies. Was this surprise engage month?

 

Note the protrudin' moon on that lady. The Vah Shir could have a 2nd colony on Saryrn's badonkadonk.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Early Saryrn INC!

We know our jobs. We know our strengths and weaknesses. Keep your uber. Temerity is the only guild we want to be like.

A demi-god had run across the tower and jumped us at her stair well. Nobody spazzed. We simply did what needed doing. What choice did we have?

We tanked. We healed. We pushed her giant bum dumplings back across the room.

 

Click any pic to see full version

Kwel winds up his taunt phrase. What will it be? And the pitch is away...

..."PUMPKIN SMUGGLER"

 

The Lunachick reacts.

Her beloved pet crow, Sorrowsong, burst onto the scene in a heartwrenching bid to save its master.

Somehow he got lit on fire! We tried our best to smother its flames with the axes and spears that were available. Awkward.

 

 

Bleeding magical energy, her necrochicken dead at her feet, a woozy Saryrn struggled to stay upright. She cackled and sneered insults until the very end. They made no sense, though.

"Your victory came centuries too late to have ever happened."

Uh, okay, Patootie Kong. She was batcrap insane, right?

Oooh look. Shinies.

 

Grats Moonglum on the earring, Thoran on the staff, Linkamus on the whip, Nydi and Moonglum on a belt each. 'Bout time they got something to hold their pants up. Pervs.

I know, I know. 'Nice' loot, Zetro. Our readers like their dessert sweeter and in bigger scoops. We get it! Now scroll down for your sugar coma.

 

 

 

AHR didn't get the memo about which body part to flash in this update.

 

Still on our theme, Tem went shopping at Thal-Mart this week for the other kind of booty. Aten Ha Ra treats us right. Unlike some other bosses. Nothing more embarassing than following a tough kill with an /rsay like, "Send tells for a_half_off_sandwich_coupon. Anyone? Apps or guests? Please link current lunch plans."

But scope this, gnome skillets. ALL of the below dropped during the last week of March. In two nights (thx Wednesday reset) of raiding Vex Thal.

(click anything to see more clearly, yada yada)

 

Congrats Cromis

 

Congrats Sorric

 

(x2) Congrats Torusk, Ravenwing

 

Congrats Kaboom

 

Congrats Bijaz

 

Congrats Faite

 

(x2)Congrats Nydi, Torusk

 

Congrats Stamm

<

Congrats Ravenwing

 

More congrats Ravenwing

 

(x2) Congrats Pane, Kaboom

 

Congrats Hemper

 

Congrats Pane

 

Congrats Kudadil

 

Congrats Miller

 

Congrats Wemsler

 

Congrats Rysia

 

Congrats Xayz

 

Congrats Glimi

 

Congrats Eloween

 

Congrats Nydi

 

Congrats Wemsler

 

Congrats Bijaz

 

Congrats Bacchus

 

(x2) Congrats Avocado, Zetro (thank you Tems)

 

Sugary enough? Oh my. Nurse, we need insulin over here, STAT. Or kaopectate. Whatever. Good thing I didn't mention that we also stopped at Ssra that night, picking up Linkamus and Kudadil a pair of Cloak of Dark Shadows . It would be just plain medically irresponsible for me to mention the Vyzhdra that Linkamus found in his cloak pocket.

Oops, flatline. So much for that Hippopotamus Oath thingy I swore to uphold.

 

 

 

(Continued)

 

 


(End of Part 1. Enter our News forum to read the entire update.)
17 Replies | 835 Views
Smorgasmorgue
Mar 15, 2009 - 3:51 PM - by Zetro
Zetro's Avatar

SMORGASMORGUE

 


 









The clown ogre that lives down the street, Rowar, had given us a dare. Pride forced us to accept his challenge: Spend a night in the basement of the old haunted Ruins of Lxanvom.


Yea, you know. The place where that terrible thing happened.


All those years ago.  



"U got a problem with me wearing ketchup 'n mustard instead of clothes??"

 





 

"Tis foolhardy to disturb the spirits.", Tarkil had warned us. 


"Like, boinking-a-beehive foolhardy? Or just very risky and challenging?", we wondered.


"The latter I ... who told you about the beehive?!!" 








So off we went, on a mission to disturb a spirit named the Spectre of Corruption.






Which disturbed a few more spirits. Lookalikes, named Summoners of Decay 


Summon they did. The dead started coming. And coming. And coming!


Backed into a corner, shield against shield, Temerity hacked away at a flood of ghastly Crypt Johns being summoned by the Hookers of Decay. Thirty undead slain. Forty! FIFTY! I hadn't seen a swarm like this since back in Misty.


Then we heard the grating stone-on-stone of ancient crypt doors being opened for the first time in centuries. 12 dead Kings of Lxanvom, now mighty-morphed and re-animated to serve Bertoxxulous, had joined a lunchline eager to chow down on the square pizza of our souls.







(click on any pic in this update to see full image) 

"Ya right, guys.  Suuure there's a Raddi behind me. Besides, I'm not even Jewish."











 

TEM superhumans Faite and Zygor lure Brundlefly in with picnic food












 
 Confused, Wavadozzik tried to stuff an envelope into Miller's visor slot.





Severed undead arms, heads and bumcheeks were littered everywhere. WHY did we hack off their bumcheeks? To disrupt communications, of course.




 STILL they kept coming.




Kavilis wants to sip Warlord Kwelynin like a juice box



 

Meedo Pillowbiter's years of constipation over the wording of our alt policy finally kersploded in a torrent of butt-mud.







 

SHOUT OUT to /temtanks! Check out our WARs going all soccer fan on Qezzin. Love it.


(Continued)

 

13 Replies | 927 Views
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